Picture this: You’ve just wrapped a Zoom meeting with team members across four time zones where everyone has agreed to the team’s operating norms, judging from the head nods. Or so you think.
Three weeks in, you notice that team members are back to their usual behavior, ignoring the norms you’d assumed everyone had agreed with. You discover that two team members had serious reservations they didn’t want to disclose openly. Another kept quiet because she didn’t want to slow things down, and another felt it was risky to push back when everyone else agreed.
Why couldn’t you see the signs? You were reading the room through your own cultural lens, which happens when we assume that different cultures process information and communicate in pretty much the same way. Tempting though it may be, dismissing cultural differences can lead to big problems later on.
These misunderstandings and miscues extend far beyond team meetings. Imagine a 1:1 meeting where you deliver what you see as balanced, constructive feedback. Your employee responds with few words, nods politely, and appears to accept everything you said. You learn later that they were too shocked and devastated to respond.
Or consider the talented employee you’ve passed over for a high-visibility project because they never advocated for themselves since self-promotion violates everything they were raised to believe about humility and respect.
Over time, our failure to understand and reflect cultural differences can do considerable damage, especially to those whose cultural norms are most different from those of the leaders.
The Gap between Knowing and Doing
Even leaders who have had cultural awareness training and can rattle off the difference between high-context and low-context communication tend to revert to the behavior that’s comfortable for them when they get back to their desks. The awareness of cultural differences alone rarely changes behavior.
I’ve worked with global teams led by American managers who are shocked to find that their style of “feedback sandwich” (praise, critical feedback, praise) can come across as confusing, evasive and patronizing to others. I recall a group of French and German folks in one of my cross-cultural training workshops telling me that they wished their American manager would just tell them what they need to change. (“We know what we’re doing right. That’s a waste of time. Just tell us what we need to change!”)
On the other end of the cultural spectrum, team members from cultures that place high value on harmony and saving face like Japan and China can quickly lose face when critical feedback is delivered in any form. One Dutch manager boasted that he “just told it like it is” to a Japanese employee, who told me privately that he found this behavior to be thoughtless, insensitive and rude.
Our default communication style tends to reflect our own cultural programming, whether we’re conscious of it or not. Our brains like shortcuts, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed. By not understanding how different cultures are likely to receive our communications, we can irreparably damage trust, which may cost us talented people who assume that we haven’t taken the time to understand them. (And they’d probably be right!)
When it comes to career development, glossing over cultural differences can be equally costly. Leaders tend to develop people who remind them of themselves (“affinity bias” at play!). They may see people who offer unsolicited opinions loudly and frequently or volunteer for stretch assignments as ambitious “go-getters,” while team members who excel quietly without self-promotion it may get left behind.
Practical Steps You Can Take Now
None of this means that you have to completely transform your leadership style. Consider making a set of small, intentional adjustments that reflect your appreciation of the different cultures that make up your team.
🌎The first step: Explore cultural differences openly as a team, and candidly discuss which of these may be impeding collaboration the most. Ask: What are the implications? What changes might we make to accommodate our differences? How can we take advantage of our differences? Defining a team culture that transcends national cultures can go a long way toward bridging differences.
In your meetings:
🌎 Before each meeting, send a pre-read with specific thinking questions. This gives people who need more processing time, such as those working in their non-native language and introverts, a chance to formulate their thinking before they engage in real time.
🌎 Build in structured input rounds rather than open-floor discussion. A simple “let’s go around and hear from everyone before we discuss” can help remove the pressure to compete for airtime, which is deeply uncomfortable for many people. Offer participants the chance to communicate in writing or verbally throughout the meeting.
🌎 Allow silent reflection time after posing a question or asking for a comment before inviting comments or questions, and be clear about how you’ll be gathering their responses.
🌎 Provide written meeting summaries and invite people to add input they may not have voiced in the moment. Not everyone will understand the key points or agreements the same way unless written notes are clear and explicit.
In feedback and performance conversations:
🌍 Honor feedback preferences. Ask team members early on how and at what point they prefer to receive feedback. Many people have never been asked this question by a manager, so they may need some examples from you to respond.
🌍 Don’t assume silence means acceptance, and don’t assume directness means hostility. The quiet nod is not necessarily a yes. The blunt pushback is not always an attack. By understanding how different cultures prefer receiving critical feedback, you’ll have a more productive conversation.
🌍 Be attuned to cultural differences. For example, if you’re working with German or Dutch team members, lead with the substantive feedback and be specific. With a Japanese or Chinese colleague, you’ll probably want to deliver critical feedback privately, framing it as a shared problem to solve rather than a personal deficit, and leave room for them to respond on their own timeline.
🌍 Separate the feedback conversation from the performance evaluation. For team members from cultures where feedback is a private, relationship-based exchange, the formal performance review format can feel like a public indictment regardless of the content. Consider having a separate, informal check-in conversation before the official review.
In coaching and career development:
🌏 Check your performance criteria. Ask yourself: What cultural assumptions are we making when we define leadership potential or executive presence? If the answer is something like “Someone who speaks confidently, advocates for themselves, and drives decisions quickly,” it may be time to reassess these criteria for your global teams.
🌏 For team members who shy away from the spotlight and may feel uncomfortable nominating themselves for a stretch assignment or a high-visibility opportunity, make a direct personal invitation. Carefully consider whether to make this invitation in a team meeting or privately.
🌏 Realize that not everyone has the same ambitions. “Where do you see yourself in three years?” assumes a certain orientation toward individual ambition that not everyone shares. Try instead: “What kind of work energizes you most?” or “What would you want more of?” You may uncover motivation and capability you’d otherwise miss.
The Honest Reckoning
Most leaders I work with would say they’re culturally aware. But sadly, I don’t always (or even often) see this awareness showing up in the moments that matter. It’s impossible to achieve true cultural competence simply by taking a workshop or reading a book. It’s something we need to practice and apply, especially when things are moving fast and it would be easier to revert to our own cultural lenses.
Be curious. Ask about aspects of other’s cultures that you may find confounding and invite others to do the same of you and each other. Solicit feedback in a way that makes it safe for others to be honest, which will vary by culture. Own your faux-pas and mistaken assumptions. Encourage all of your team members to do the same.
Team members who are the most deferential and least likely to tell you when something isn’t working can be the ones with the most to contribute and the most to lose when leaders default to their own cultural playbook without realizing it.
They’re not going to tell you what you’re missing. It’s your job to figure it out.
Links
Customized workshop:
Past Communiques:
- Mobilize Global Virtual Teams by Avoiding 8 Common Landmines
- The Impossibility of Designing a “Perfect” Virtual Meeting in a Multicultural World
- Head Off Problems Up Front, Before Cultural Differences Can Get in the Way
- Building Trust Calls for Different Approaches Across Different Cultures
- Galvanize global virtual teams with clear operating principles
- Guidelines for Great Global Team Meetings
External articles:
- Research: How the “Accent Penalty” Determines Who Gets Heard – Harvard Business Review
- Leading Global Teams Effectively – Harvard Business Review
- Stop Overlooking the Leadership Potential of Asian Employees – Harvard Business Review
- Building Cross-Cultural Relationships in a Global Workplace – Harvard Business Review
Books:
- The Culture Map by Erin Meyer, an indispensable resource I refer to constantly
- Speaking of India by Craig Storti, a gem of a book for Western managers and individuals working with their Indian Counterparts
